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How to cope with the challenges of parenting during deployment

Deployment can be one of the most difficult experiences for any parent. When a parent is deployed, it not only takes them away from their child, but it puts a serious strain on the remaining parent’s responsibilities. With the added stress of deployment, being a parent can seem daunting and overwhelming. However, there are ways to cope with these challenges and continue to be the best parent you can be for your child. This article will discuss strategies for parenting during deployment and how to manage the unique challenges that come with it.

Planning Ahead

When a parent who is a service member is deployed, one of the biggest parenting challenges is the need to plan for the child’s care. During deployment, parents must organize day-to-day childcare and, if necessary, coordinate financial and legal matters.

Before deployment, it may be helpful to create a contingency plan that outlines the different options available for childcare. Parents should identify family and friends who are available to help with childcare, as well as explore childcare options, such as daycare centers or babysitting services. Parents should also create a support network and an emergency plan in case there is a need for more intensive care.

Building a Support Network

When a parent is deployed, it is important to stay connected to the family. Building a support network of family and friends who are available to help with childcare can be invaluable. It may also be beneficial to join a support group for service members and their families, or seek out mentors or counselors who can help navigate the challenges of parenting during deployment.

In addition, parents should set up regular communication with their children, ensuring that their child feels supported and connected during their absence. Regular communication can include video chat, written letters, email, or even sending care packages.

Developing Coping Strategies

During deployment, it is natural for children and their families to experience a variety of emotions, including anxiety, depression, grief, and guilt. Parents should develop coping strategies and build resilience within the family. Talking openly with children about their feelings and offering support is essential. Parents may also find it helpful to create a routine and stay active with age-appropriate activities.

Additionally, service members and families may benefit from resources and programs offered by the military, such as counseling services, educational and financial assistance, and family support groups.

Being Flexible

When a parent is deployed, parenting roles and responsibilities can shift. Parents should be flexible and focus on their family’s needs. Adapting to different circumstances can help families make the best of a difficult situation. For example, if a parent is deployed for a long period of time, it may be necessary to create a shared parenting plan with the child’s other parent or primary caregiver.

When a parent returns from deployment, it is important to take the time to reconnect with their family. This can be a difficult transition period and parents should be patient, as it takes time to adjust.

Connecting with Your Child

Parenting during deployment can be a difficult task, but there are ways to manage the challenges. One of the most important things you can do to manage parenting during deployment is to maintain open communication with your child. This helps to keep your child connected and provides them with the emotional support and reassurance they need during your absence.

The best way to keep communication open is to make sure to keep in regular contact. This can be done through phone calls, Skype, FaceTime, or email. Depending on the age of your child, you may also want to consider sending them care packages, sharing stories and photos, or even having a few video chats. Setting up a family blog or sending letters can also be effective ways of staying connected and providing your child with a sense of security.

Fostering Emotional Support

It is important to make sure that your child has access to the emotional support they need to cope with the challenges of your deployment. This can include offering them the opportunity to speak to a professional counselor or connecting them with other military families who can relate to the difficulties faced by a deployed parent.

You should also provide your child with a sense of security and comfort by communicating openly and regularly, offering guidance and advice, and being available for them to discuss any troubles they may be facing. Additionally, try to find ways in which to make your child feel involved in your deployment. This could include sending them copies of important documents, helping them to make connections with other families, or involving them in meaningful activities related to the deployment.

Creating a Supportive Environment

It is also important to create a supportive environment for your child even when you are away. This could mean involving family, friends, and community members that can provide emotional and physical support to your child during your absence. You should also establish routines and activities that can help your child to cope with the challenge of managing without you being present.

In addition to this, make sure to communicate your support and expectations to your child to help them to cope with the challenges. Talk to your child about their feelings and worries, provide them with guidance and reassurance, and ensure them that you will always remain supportive of their needs. Show your child that you understand the difficulties that they may be facing, and that you are trusting in their ability to cope with the situation.

By keeping communication open, fostering emotional support, and creating a supportive environment, parenting during deployment can be managed effectively. This will benefit both you and your child, helping to ensure that you remain connected, and that your child is able to cope with the separation.

Practicing Self-Care

One of the best things you can do to cope with parenting while your partner is deployed is to ensure that you take time for yourself. During this stressful period, it is more important than ever to dedicate time to yourself and practice self-care. This could include attending therapy, joining a support group, or participating in activities you enjoy. Taking time for yourself will help you stay physically and mentally healthy, and give you the energy to keep parenting through deployment.

Allow Yourself to Express Emotions

It is important to give yourself permission to acknowledge and express your emotions during this time. Even if you don’t feel like you need to, try to find ways to talk about the emotions you are feeling. Talking to a friend or writing out your thoughts and feelings can help you to process and cope with your emotions.

Seek Out Support

Although the challenge of parenting during deployment can feel overwhelming at times, remember that you are not alone. Connecting with others who are going through the same experience can provide a supportive network for you, and can help you to cope with the challenges of parenting. Consider joining an online support group or finding other resources in your area.

Take Breaks & Set Boundaries

When parenting during deployment, you may feel overwhelmed or burned out from the additional responsibilities. Prioritize your needs and be sure to take breaks throughout the day to give yourself a break. Be sure to also set boundaries for yourself so that you are not taking on too much. This could include asking for help from friends and family or setting up a structure in your home that works for your family.

Find Ways to Connect with Your Partner

When your partner is deployed, it can be difficult to feel connected as a family. However, there are still ways to connect with your partner while they are away. Consider sending care packages or making time to connect through video calls or phone calls. Finding ways to stay connected with your partner can help the whole family feel more connected during the separation.

Utilizing Available Resources

Parenting during deployment is an especially difficult challenge, and it’s important to reach out for help and support when it is needed. Many military families have access to military services such as a Family Support Center or Family Readiness Group that can provide support and resources. There are also organizations like Military OneSource and the National Military Family Association that provide resources and referrals for families. Additionally, online support networks such as Parenting During Deployment and Deployment Support offer advice and counseling from professionals who are experienced with the particular challenges of deployment.

Utilize Childcare Help

For single parents or those in dual-income families, finding adequate childcare can be a hurdle during deployment. Many organizations offer childcare assistance through programs such as the Operation Military Child Care and the Military and DoD Child Care Program. These programs provide childcare assistance and can help with the costs of childcare during deployment. Additionally, many employers offer flexible work schedules and telecommuting options that can help reduce childcare needs.

Locate Helpful Resources

Deployment can present many challenges for families, but there are resources available to help. Military families have access to free programs offered by the Department of Defense and many other organizations, such as the National Military Family Association and Blue Star Families. These programs can provide assistance in areas such as legal assistance, counseling, and financial planning. Additionally, online resources such as Military Kids Connect and the Stars and Stripes Kids Club offer educational activities, guidance and support for families during deployment.

Strengthen Support Network

Family and friends can provide an invaluable support system for parents during deployment. Reach out to family, friends and other military spouses for assistance and emotional support, especially when a spouse is deployed. Additionally, make sure that those on the homefront – such as family and neighbors – understand the challenges of parenting during deployment and the unique needs of military families. Create a support network of people who can provide childcare, emotional support and assistance with daily tasks while a spouse is deployed.

Focus on Self-Care

Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Parenting during deployment is demanding, and it’s important to make time for yourself to stay healthy and reduce stress. Take advantage of available resources and support, and make sure to practice self-care. Spend time on hobbies, activities or interests, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Taking time for yourself can help reduce stress and make parenting during deployment more manageable.

Resources for Service Members

Deployment can be difficult and stressful for parents, particularly those with young children. Coping with this challenge often requires putting into place additional strategies and supports that help to make it easier on the family and provide emotional support where needed. Here are a few approaches and tips to help military parents manage the challenges of deployment while caring for their children:

Plan Ahead

Planning ahead is key for parents to manage the stress and emotions of deployment. Creating a plan for how the family will operate and manage daily life during absence of the deployed parent can help to relieve some anxiety and encourage a sense of stability. Make sure to plan for all aspects of care, from management of physical needs such as meals and transportation, to emotional needs such as reassurance and communication.

Stay Connected

Make sure to establish multiple ways for the deployed parent to stay connected with their family. Technology can be a great tool to stay in touch, but it is important to understand that not all communication needs to be over video call. Calling and writing letters are both great ways to stay connected and cultivate relationships. Additionally, communication with deployed parent needs to be managed and kept consistent. Creating a plan and setting expectations allows both parents to stay connected while respecting the needs of the deployed parent.

Seek Support

Reaching out to friends, family, and professional resources can be extremely helpful in managing the stress and emotions of deployment. Military families have access to a variety of supports, from support groups to counseling and post-deployment retreats. Additionally, local organizations and charities can provide assistance with everything from financial to emotional support.

Resources for Service Members

The military provides a variety of resources to assist in managing the challenges of parenting during deployment. These resources include an online handbook for military families, access to childcare, counseling, and financial assistance. Military parents who are struggling during deployment can reach out to the Lifeline for emotional support or to an Installation Service Member and Family Support Center for additional family resources.

No matter what approach is taken, parenting during deployment can be a difficult challenge to navigate. Reaching out to supports and putting into place strategies and techniques can help to reduce stress and make the situation easier.

Tips for Military Families with Deployed Parents

Parenting can be a daunting task at the best of times, and more so when a parent is deployed. Nevertheless, it is possible to successfully navigate a deployment and come out stronger. In times of separation, try to maintain a positive outlook and focus on your child’s needs. Connecting with other families in the same situation can also be helpful in providing support. Scheduling regular video calls with the deployed parent is a great way to stay connected with each other and keep children in touch with their mom or dad. It is also important to have an open and honest dialogue about the deployment and the parent’s return, depending on the individual child’s age and understanding. Finally, seeking outside help from the military family services or mental health providers is essential in coping with the challenges of parenting during deployment.

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